If I’d stayed a little longer,
Been around a little more,
If I’d have tried a little harder,
Hadn’t left you waiting at the door.
If I hadn’t of been so selfish,
If I just could have put you first,
If I’d of had better teachers,
If addiction hadn’t had me emersed.
If I could have chosen better,
Stopped you seeing the things you saw,
If I could have stopped you believing
There was something wrong with you, at the core.
If I could change the sadness you carry,
The disillusionment in your soul,
The hollowness that calls you,
The pain that continues to unfold.
If I could rewrite the beliefs you hold,
Take back the stuff that’s mine,
If I could erase all those memories,
That come to dim your radiant shine.
If I’d have stayed a little longer,
I’d ask for forgiveness for the things I’ve done.
Letting you down was never intended,
My beautiful, gentle, blue eyed son.
I’m sorry, love always Mom x